i’m not sure if my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense
the only reason i go to school is because i donn’t wanna be an unemployed college drop out. i wanna be an unemployed college graduate
thats the spirit
Really though I’m entirely lucky to have been absorbed into the nerdfighter community because I have absolutely no idea how bad it is outside of this safe bubble of kindness.
how many kardashians ARE there?? theres happy kardashian, bashful kardashian, dopey kardashian, sextape kardashian
ho ho ho
shit down my throat
i accidentally blew weed smoke on a moth and i was like holy shit i just ruined this bug’s life, i just forced him to take a gateway drug what if he becomes a heroin addict what if he becomes a meth cook imagine walter white as a moth. fascinating
MY MALE FISH JUST LAID EGGS WTF
IM GOING TO BE A GRANDMOTHER IM TOO YOUNG TO BE A GRANDMOTHER
true life: people like my hair more than they like me
“When we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass. And so we are all connnected in the great Circle of Life.”
The Great Showdowns in book form!
I weep bcause I think I hardly ever read anything funnier