a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt
“…that doesn’t even rhyme!” ~Carl Fredricksen
It’s kind of ridiculous that you’re expected to get out of bed EVERY day
So i thought i might try something new and compose a song on ukulele and i wanted it to be a cute love song that went like “here’s a song on ukulele i’m sorry i’m not very good at ukulele but i love you blah blah blah” but then i remembered that i’m not very good at ukulele so here’s the best i could do.
Go to Starbucks. Order coffee for “Prisoner 24601”
When they call out your order, jump up and yell “My name is Jean Valjean!”
And if the barista replies with “AND I’M JAVERT,” you tip that motherfucker so hard
you tip them right over the edge of a bridge
you fucking didn’t
oh my god.